Joie de Vivre

Its been so long since I'd last visited a bookstore and picked up a random book of  that catches my sight. 

Yesterday I did. 

It was after having my own solo dinner at Tuk Tuk. Ordered one of the set meals and as I was having dinner, I had the delightful contentment of observing other diners had theirs. Families, young kids over their phones with their family at the table, several couples and two lady friends across.  Mostly noticed the diners were without any electronic gadgets and rather,  enjoying each other's company over dinner while others invested in their own dinner and conversations instead. 

It was a heartwarming sight. 

Getting down back to where I last left..  the bookstore, yepp. Picked up a book called 'ikigai'  and spent roughly 30 minutes (i think)  just reading. Leaning with my laptop backpack over one of the middle-row shelf  to lighten the weight off my shoulders, and just.. Reading.. 

What a joy. Noticing that it was getting slightly late, close to 8.40pm, contented as I flipped the last page I have stop at for the day,  in my mind i decided that I'd come around sometime soon again or as soonest when my time allows, lol, to visit this bookstore again and read something of my interest. Further, spent some minutes looking over my handphone's google search function to search the meaning of words I came across but wasn't too sure of the meaning. 

There were some words i came across. 

Joie de vivre. I think its spelled as that which is a French word meaning exuberant enjoyment in life . And ikigai which simply means, as by the author, happiness of keeping oneself busy or life, to be worthwhile, :)  so what's your ikigai? 

Mine. Living life freely. And along the way, not losing the close knitted bonds i have with my family n dearest friends. And to envision myself doing something of my passion in future. 

There's no end to this nor a beginning. Just a story to tell. 

Working Life

Working here in audit has been a blessing and down in the dumps at the same time. Blessing for some of the encounters with people in the firm and the satisfaction in persevering through those challenging times. There were certain times when I was definitely caught off-guard and due to my inexperience in what I should do next, it was stressful and I felt scared. Not knowing what decision I should take and more importantly, not confident enough of my my own abilities. Somehow or rather, I made it through. So far, I've personally went through two ethical dilemmas and honestly, I happen to make the right choices due to my own judgment or by sheer luck. All in all,  I just feel thankful for the outcomes.

Life has been strenuous indeed but I learned. Then again, I've met people who shared their own struggles and because of these batchmates and people I've met, whom we laugh, have lunch and share light conversations with to personal heart to hearts, they've lighten up my days at the firm. :) Whenever I needed someone to seek opinions for or seek help whether it comes to audit assignments, admin tasks or etc, there they are (we don't have just non-work banter of course :P) Especially when it comes to my first time, a friend indeed really eases my inexperience. Similarly, I offer my help whenever I can. I guess everyone has their own personal struggles and we just try to lighten each other's weigh whenever we can. We all go through it, whether we like it or not, in a different kind of way. Working at the firm is much happier with these bunch of people. :) I know of those who wish to leave soon, and those that may/will leave at anytime and when that day comes, I'll be sad. I don't want that day to come so soon but when it does, I'll wish them best of luck. Having one less friend whom I can share my stories/days only makes me feel a lil' disheartened at the thought of it, and it also reminds me to always remain independent by learning to stand on my own feet.  

Also, I've always noticed. Notice your presence and absence, but never reacting to it nor showing my response. You'll never realize perhaps, not back then; not now and not in the near future. I always did want to smile back but didn't dare to look back at you in the eyes. But I've always wanted to smile back. I wish one day you'll look and smile directly at me like back then. Perhaps, I'll have the courage to look up and smile in return this time. Not sure if it makes a difference, Perhaps, I just want you to know, I noticed and I do care.

Thank you December

Life has been kind to me.

I have had unexpected surprises that made my week.

Starting off from the weekly jobs at work that I was assigned to which were at two different shopping malls, I feel a slightly pleasant feeling waking up to the thought of working in a mall (excluding the more pricey afternoon meals). My engagement teams on rotation have been nice and helpful. I guess this was the main factor that made me motivated to work and I couldn't be more thankful for that. Just last week, I went for an outstation job at Seremban for a week. The hotel was so comfortable I wished we would stay longer. Each of us had a queen sized bed to ourselves. When I first found out about it, it totally made my day and it did for the rest of the week! :) Despite the OT on the job back at our hotels for the week, the room ambiance balanced it all out. Besides, we had free hotel breakfast daily with a variety of choices (buffet style) and lunch was provided at the client's workers canteen. I honestly think I couldn't be happier with the work environment and it was a very pleasant outstation job. It ended so fast, I wish I can go for more outstation jobs like these in future. :)

Peak is going to start in January. All the best.

We had our audit dept dinner on Friday. Danced to Kungfu Panda's theme song and we were the first group to perform. It was definitely awkward indeed as everyone was not hyped up at all yet at that time. Standing the front row as I danced or rather work out, I could see the blank faces of people and feel the awkwardness in the room. It made me felt really awkward and I didn't know where to look to.  Thankfully, as we were in the middle of the performance, people started clapping hands in the crowd to the beat to make us feel better. Just glad that it was over. Overall, the dinner was much more fun than the company annual dinner.  There was more of a sense of togetherness and closeness as a team based on the light conversations, group performances and casual atmosphere.

Yesterday was a rather spontaneous outing. Senior jio-ed me to accompany my close friend from my previous company for something. After it, we went to have Sakae Sushi and tried to get seats for Coco. Unfortunately, there weren't any seats left but the first two rows. Karoake rooms were charging skyhigh prices for 3-hours karoake sessions too. Hence, at last, we had 2nd round at Nana - makan green tea dessert. I think I am being attached to the people I like /care. Ohnoo

Today, went out with Vernie and Carmen. It was a good catch up. Can't wait to meet my parents this Wednesday and have a good week ahead before the stress starts looming around the corner.

P.S. My Acca exams were a disaster. The feeling didn't hit me til I went home that evening after sitting for the exam, drained and worn out. All a sudden, I felt this sense of disappointment in myself for the lack of discipline and focus that I had throughout for my exam preparations. I guess it would be a great lesson to hold on to. When I feel tired and less motivated in future, remembering this incident would probably make me move forward regardless of the mounting tiredness that I feel. I did not really understand the full weight of this paper til meeting my performance manager the other day. How my one paper results would also determine the course of my future and I just pray for the best outcome possible. I have learned the consequences of my actions. I will learn my lesson.

Thank you December for being kind to me, for the meaningful lessons taught and serendipity of events that took place. :)

Merry Christmas guys!

Of fun and more fun

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Omg. Paintball was fun! :) Yesterday, my ex-senior organized a paintball gathering at Mudtrekker Shah Alam and so we met at PCCO at 8. Actually, we arrived slightly later as it was a domino effect starting from me, the driver. I departed late and was supposed to pick up a few others. And they were late too so...Hahaha. My reason was I couldn't wake up on time.

The side effects of yesterday's game is apparent. Feeling sore everywhere today and some blue blacks here and there. The 5 of us went for 2nd round and 3rd round too. Haha. I feel a little bankrupt now. It was karaoke and steamboat later on.

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On Monday, we celebrated Lee Mee's birthday as well in advance. We went for Sukiya as she wanted to. Omg. We ate til we were so bloated. That was because we accidentally took too much meat after the first round of orders. I could feel my stomach stretching to its fullest but even at that time, I still stuffed down two ice-cream cones. Hehe. While doing so, I was standing to "digest" the food in my already bloated tummy after the main meal. At first, we thought 2 hours of time limit for steamboat was not enough. Its definitely enough. Haha. It was not bad. Food was fresh. Choice wise may be slightly less than other steamboats but definitely, the quality is there.

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It's almost the end of my 2nd month here at KPMG. Time unexpectedly flies. Things have been good thus far. Environment is conducive. Colleagues are helpful. The senior on my job has been a good guidance. Occasionally, I stress out on my own while I'm at my client's. Not because of the work load itself but internally, I can feel that I'm stressed for no reasons while on the job. Probably I've been sleeping late consecutively during the past few weeks and its nothing related to the fact of my workload or environment. I've only OT-ed once til 12am so far so and that itself also, so coincidentally, falls on the day where my audit department was having a Deepavali celebration dinner. The food definitely gave me a boost to work faster. Haha. They had my favourite beehive biscuit and some nice chocolates at the secretary's desk as well. Yayy

 Just the past Friday, we had our annual movie night. Enjoyed my cheesy dog and coke while watching Justice League. Time to learn to relax.

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Other than that, its really time to study. 2 weeks down to exam and I've only touched two accounting standards. Omg. Really GG. I have to really concentrate and pass this. Play less and really find my time to study efficiently. That momentum and discipline.

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After that, I wanna catch up with everybody in December. My plans are to do so during that month after exams. I honestly feel like I've not spent enough time catching up on the people who matters most. Ohh, I went shopping with the 2 the other day too, my close buddies at Pcco. It was so much fun! Although I only went for window shopping and accompanied them with their shopping, it was really the first time I enjoyed hanging out so much in a long time. :')

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Okay. Its time to get down to the important stuffs, studying. 

Ciaos!

Penned Down Thoughts

I still feel the heavy-heartedness and slight emptiness occasionally throughout the day as my thoughts drifted to my ex-colleagues, their warm happy faces, the good old times and I seem to feel my feet standing on two cross lines as I start my placement at a new company yesterday and resign from my old one just last Friday. Although I’ve long prepared for this, I still can’t help this feeling. This is what it feels like to leave. This is what it feel likes to go on. I keep falling back to the memories at the previous company and compare. I realize that this thinking is only going to hold me back. From tomorrow onwards, I must be adamant enough to see myself push through this thinking and put an end to it. To think forward and stop rewinding only about the past. And to stop comparing as it brings me nowhere.

My plan was to resign a week ago at my previous company before I started off here but my manager asked me to stay (til the very last possible day). She had assigned me to two stock takes on last Thursday and Friday and there was no one else to replace. Of course, despite that one week break I felt I needed (and also because I wanted to head home to help bring up some pamelos and stuffs for my parents’ Sarawak trip), I agreed to her request. More so because almost all my colleagues would be outstation for that entire week, I felt I didn’t really need to be at office. Without them around, it would be lonely to end my last few days there and I wanted to leave with happy memories of my time over there. That one week, without the rest except for my deskmate and two others as well as managers, it turned out be a blessing in disguise. What an eventful week I had that I enjoyed my every day of that final week. On Monday, I was assigned on a last minute 1 day audit with my deskmate and oohh, the director we met there was super cute. Haha. An old guy that was hmm..round sideways and kind. Hehee. Completed 10 stat audits on my own during the middle of the week and then went for two respective stock takes on Thursday and Friday. During that week while I was busy at work til evening, we played a mobile game called “Lang ren sha” (wolf) with all the ‘gamer’ colleagues online til late night. All those on outstation one. Even while I was very sleepy, I forego my sleep and stayed awake just to play that game. Simply, to play with them. At first, I couldn’t play on day 1 since I didn’t know how to read mandarin. On day 2, I told my close bunch of friends (my batch) that I wanted to play too so they all said ok ahh. So all my colleagues who played with me taught me while on the go. One of my close colleague & friend helped me out most. She patiently explained to me which did touched my heart in some ways or rather. It was an exactly similar game to killer and spy which I had a lot of fun. So did the rest. Haha.

Anyways, as for stock take, it was hot in the warehouse on both days. One at Port Klang, the other at Segambut. Generally, stock take is still my favourite. I always find it fun to be on site. Recording or counting, I pretty much like these tasks so far. Plus, the client treated us to a hearty lunch on both days. My tummy was happy and so was I; fully satisfied. The workers at the warehouse during the Friday stock take were also the best to date whom were simply ever ready to help out and friendly. I was happy stock taking with them and utilized my BM to the fullest especially with that 2 workers who I was recording stocks with mostly throughout the day. Feels good to be speaking BM in lengths after such a long time. From them also I found out that we tend to complain about OT, whereas now their company policy has abolished OT for the warehouse staffs and in fact, they actually said it’s not good for them because their base salary itself is not that sufficient to support their household. They look forward to having OT because that’s when they get paid more on top of their base wages. They said based wages tak cukup la and it hit me. Talking to people always gives us a different perspective to reflect about on our perceived opinions.

Now that I think of it, I still feel I needed that one week to really feel the gap of switching to another company. However, I guess there is a trade-off of having an extra week of great memories. Apart from that, on my last week, I really felt thankful that my deskmate was around to accompany me with his lame stuffs and nonsensical jokes. Otherwise, I would have felt “blue-er” indeed.

No matter what, the fond memories of my previous company will always stay close to my heart. The guidance, the laughter and happy sakai colleagues, the times of incompetence I felt once or twice and the guilt that made me want to do better, the mistakes, the improvements, I have never felt so grateful to have this detour in my life. Honestly, back in uni, I thought the best plan in mind was to study full-time and work part time. That was what I wanted and I could not fulfill that plan. Then, dad and mum pushed me to seek for any job first meanwhile I waited for other mid-sized or Big Four firms to reply. I did not regret. The colleagues are the best part of this company and it felt like family, the TFIFS we had, the company benefits that are pretty good, the work environment is to my liking and the helpful seniors that I’ll always remember and thank them for. It was an unforgettable serendipity at PCCO. Thank you.

It’s time to find my new purpose and plan ahead. Scary yet I will take this ride with courage and persevere. Orientation so far has been okay. Definitely, by 5, I felt like dozing off. But I enjoyed listening to the speeches or talks given by the management people. So far of the many of them who presented, I like how they carried themselves. Professional yet humble and motivating. To add on, funny. J

Even when times are hard and strenuous, I must remind myself to keep on fighting. And ohh, when I was at UTAR, the tagline was My Choice. Now at Kpmg, coincidentally, one of their tagline is Clear Choice. I don't know why the word Choice always relates to my life but that being said, KPMG, here I comee!!

Good night peeps.

Eventful month

So much has happened.

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I went for the interview on a Wednesday and honestly, I left the place with a feeling of slight regret that I was not at my best. It was a 3 session interview and the first was a case study discussion / presentation. There were my other 2 teammates who were outspoken in my group that it gave me little chance to speak. It pulled my spirit down by a bit. The second round was a 2 to 1 interview and finally, a 30-minutes written essay. By 1pm plus, I was back at home snuggling in bed where I spent some time reflecting on the interview earlier. In the end, I gave myself an average rating for these two parts. Anyways, I took a pretty last minute EL to attend this interview and thought it was hilarious to spend the later parts of my day on EL being nonchalantly laid back at home. It was my first EL experience too and definitely 'unique'. Hahs

After that, I did not hear from them for sometime. I was anticipating that perhaps they'll get back to me in 2 days time (by the end of that week which meant by Friday), yet there was no news. One week went by and there was no word on the outcome. Truthfully, I did not give the interview much thought after the first 2 days because work and other things kept me occupied. Only on few occasions did the 'interview result' came as a passing thought and I'd weigh my chances. Evidently, I knew that the odds are stack higher than the chances with each passing day. Almost 2 weeks later, I was almost fully convinced that I did not make it as a new month is approaching and the intakes were quite likely informed before that.

So on Tuesday, I decided that if they did not call in by that day, then I'll let all my expectations go and accept the likely outcome. I prayed hard in the ktm. I really did. I was silently praying to God in my head 'pls give me a chance, pls give me a chance' repetitively. That whole day, I was having training at office. After it ended at about 3pm plus, I was finding a file among stacks of files by a shelf. That's when I decided to look at the time so I checked my phone. 5 missed calls with a random number. Who is that?? So I called back and it was their general line. In my head, I was thinking, Why? So I tried calling back twice but to no avail, there was no receiver on the other end so I resumed finding my file. 10 minutes later, my phone rang again and the person over the phone spilled the good news. Immediately after ending the call, the first thought running through my head was harr?? Did God really listened to my prayers? I was slightly amazed and it was a moment of wonder, awe and eventually, gratefulness seeped in. To make it this far, I really thank the one who made my hopes come true, whoever it may be. Thank you.

There's one more final program to complete. A medical check-up. I don't know where this journey is going to lead me to or if I'm actually making the right choice. Hopefully, I will be guided and feel happy wherever I am.

Thankfully, I have a month's notice to prepare myself for this changes. I have no heart to tell my colleagues yet. Eventually, if I've confirmed everything, I'll let them know and they'll know. I can already tell how much I'm going to miss all of them. They make me feel human, everyday. Emotionally. :')

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Another event highlight would be convo. Convocation took place 2 weeks back and it was more memorable than I had expected. I headed back to Kampar with my coursemates a day earlier and stayed at my friend's mom's apartment. The few of us had dinner together and went swimming at the condo's pool afterwards. Yays! The next morning, my friends woke up first around 5am plus as they needed more time to prepare (prepare in this case was mostly for 'putting on make up'. haha) whereas I woke up later around 6 and you can guess why. I don't make up and my friends have repeatedly failed in their attempt to touch my eyebrows with their eyeliners, their beauty advice and the idea of a a step-by-step makeover for my face. Hahhaa. They were in a rush to get ready that morning so they requested my help to iron their formal blouse. Whatt, they think I'm a Kakak harrh. One of them even jokingly called at me 'Kakakkk, faster!!'. Walau ehh but I was glad to help laa. Haha.

By 7plus, we arrived and by 8, the ceremony started. To my surprise, the speeches particularly by the president, had depth. I was actually listening intuitively throughout. As for the rest, because of the couple late nights and things like that, my head was bobbing in the hall in between the program flow. Once the official ceremony was over, I received many bouquet and stalk of flowers from various people outside the hall. Both from friends who stopped by and my family. I was especially grateful receiving the one from my mom and dad. It was a bouquet with flowers and a big brown teddy in the middle of it. It was also the biggest bouquet. Wuu. A lil' touched, indeed. Honestly, I did not expect them to get me one since my dad used to say its a waste of money to get flowers. He rather buy me something of more value (practical) with that same amount of money. As I was observing the bouquet at one point, my dad told me that my mom's relatives wanted to get me flowers so he helped to pick the bouquet. Then he was telling me how he wanted to get a white coloured teddy bear instead of the brown one because it looks better with the flowers contrast etc. and only that all the white bears were already sold out, it touched my heart. The thought of choosing the nicest bouquet itself is heartwarming in itself. :)) Appreciated those friends who came over to take photos with me and the bunch of coursemates I graduated with. Saranghae!


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Had my first ACCA progress test a week before convo. It's strange how I wanted to study since a week before the test but things kept coming up since that Sunday that kept me occupied for the rest of the week. Unexpected overtime, sudden one day stock take which found myself really driving out in KL itself for the first time (to my colleague's house), another company dinner that same day and TGIF all the way until 4am plus that Friday (definitely the latest night out ever since uni or even secondary school). We played cards at mamak while waiting for the karaoke time to start and went for karaoke afterwards starting at 12am. I enjoyed every moment of it. By the time, I got back my car and reached home, it was 5am. I was worn out and thought about my progress test. In my head, the though rushing through was  'Ohnoo, my progress test' and was already feeling bad about it. The following morning, I couldn't wake up earlier so around 11plus, I had to go out to Sg Long to collect my convo attire as well. It was an adventurous journey with KL's public transport too. Took the KTM, MRT and Grab. Haha. Guilty me decided to find time to read so I tried to study while waiting by the bench for the KTM train. Anyways, who knows what I wrote. Luckily it was just a progress test. Its definitely time to buck up and take things more seriously now if I want to pass or perhaps even, score the paper.

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It feels good to be back home after 2 months. The food always gets to my heart and tummy. :) Now dreading a little bit about work tomorrow and howdee. It was laughter during lunch earlier. My brother asked my aunt  what did the doctor do to me during my medical check-up this morning as I was sot sot tai when I came back home. I told my aunt and him I was fine when I went there, infected myself with a disease after coming back from the check-up. Hahhaha.

Have a splendid day!

My heart

I feel honestly blessed and thankful thus far. My internship company offered me an interview session for the audit associate position and despite my slightly heavy heart, I kindly turned them down. Just finished karang-ing my short essay to the HR colleague and sent the mail. At the same time, anticipating for my first job application interview (Hopefully the HR will still remember my existence after a long time lapse and call me in) *cross fingers. Heard how the interview would be like and its surely going to be competitive but I hope they'll keep me in view.

Needed a pair of office shoes badly. Shopped with mom, dad and eldest bro at Genting outlets. Ended up getting a pair of sports shoes from Sketchers instead. I also need one since my previous sports shoes sole came off but slightly regretting and thinking I should have gotten the office shoes first instead. My priorities, since I walk more often (daily) in office shoes rather than the sports shoes. Not cheap orh the shoes, my first month's salary. T.T I find the sole padding comfortable to wear though.

Feels like there are several things I need to get too but saving up is equally important. Mmms

It was my first time facing it. Its scary how you feel the ache when it comes to your chest. Told my brother and he said to go for a medical check-up when I can.

At the same time, gotta improve on juggling my time at work. Gotta be more efficient and less blur when it comes to audit assignments. Omo.