Determine

 It may sound so subtle when putting it into words but if you were in my shoes, then you'll know, it really isn't.

 

 Everytime I think about it even in the slightest bit, tears start welling up in my eyes and flow endlessly down my cheeks. I don't know what hurts me the most ; them, my pride or all that has happened. All I know that it has left a scar within me and this time, I find myself unable to pick myself up like how I always do.

All I know is that even the nicest people have their limits. You lose all that sense of positive thinking because you've tried all the kind of ways to make them realise what's going on and see the point. Its even more frustrating to know that you can never completely back off, let go or ignore them because you've tried and it didn't work. They're always there in your sight or at the back of your mind. The worse part is, there's so much that you had to put up with. So did everyone else, in their own ways.

 

Cos the truth is, everyone needs a little bit of everyone. They need you and you need a little of them too.

 

And so, this vicious cycle repeats.

Except, this time, it has to stop. I don't want to continue to be like this any longer.

Because being so affected by it is and was really one of the biggest mistakes that I've unconsciously made all this while. 

Dare you to move

There must be a reason why we're all intertwined like this. Like as though we're all put to test and to learn something out of it, a tragic serendipity. Sometimes, this endless cycle that repeats again and again, it just seems a lil' hard to bear. But when there's no choice, what other way than to learn from it, be strong and hope for the best?

Sports day. Prefects interview. Bio assignment. MUET speaking exam. All over. Phew. Another busy week ahead.

Positive! :)

It was a pretty good week.

If every day was a happy day, I'd be happy. :)

Also, I should get my priorities straight and don't take time for granted any longer. Because if I were to continue to do so, I'd waste my time being in form 6. So I gotta change for the better! Really must must must! =)

Endure

Why does history always repeat? :(

All I have to do is endure with a smile no matter how much it weighs me down.

Because I must, I will and I can do this! :)

Topsy Turvy

Hey hey, shalallaa! :D I'm backkk!! heheee. I know I haven't updated my bloggie 4 a long time but really, I always wanted to. Cos there's much to say but my lappie ada problem sikit. So, first of all, apologiesss to my bloggiee! I hope to keep you alive! ehehe. :D

To keep it short, School and Life - Topsy turvy. Banyak yang perlu dilakukan dan banyak kejadian yang turut berlaku. Omies. I dunno how to summarize it also. First up, school has been cheerful, saddening, stressful and a bunch of feelings. Quite many things happened while being a prefect. Then of course, I'll really remember this year's pre-CNY. Thanks to my deskie, Pei San, for some reasons. heheheh.:) During my CNY this year pulak, I spent my week travelling around KL, Genting and Malacca. It was quite an enjoyable trip minus the waiting part.:) A short assessment was held just recently too. At the same time, I spent a week at my aunt's house while my parents were away. Then there goes the assignments and projects coming in with due dates. Time's ticking and everyday counts! Have to figure out two banner designs for Canteen Day preparations and etc. too. Omiemo! Sports practice is gonna start soon and we just had our HPV injection yesterday too. Huhuhu.

Also, I'll just share and 'pour' a lil' about what's on my mind, the vague picture. They say that everything happens for a reason but maybe, we all weren't really meant to know the exact reason behind every event that unfolds in our life. Maybe its these series of unanticipated events that we never really foresee which imparts us with indelible life lessons for us to grow and learn from. So I choose to believe that what's meant to be will come our way and what's not will remain that way or dissipate eventually. Wherever life takes me, I'll take one step at a time. I just pray hard that positivity leads the way and I just hope everything turns out well!

To whoever who reads this, jiayouh with everything too yah! I'll be back soon!=)

The things I've been doing. I was waiting for mom before going out yesterday. Then I ended up clearing my hp's inbox msgs that I have not cleared for the year. Reading those msgs is really like recapping my whole form 6 life once again. Lol. Discussion about maths assignment with Zi Cheng. So so many texts. Omo. The reminders about secretary work by Aron for whom thinks I'm super weird and granny-ish.Ish! The 4 days of intense souvenir making til I didn't get enough sleep for the week and I'm not going to be so dumdum to agree to that idea again. =.=". haha. Texts on ??? badminton meetings by Sokleng becos we sesat with the badminton  announcements most of the time.hahaa. And vern's usual one sentence question request to leave her important 'gadjet' in my car. :) All deleted via phone. POOF! But saved in the brain's memory.

Just now cleaned my school bag and I was thinking why got such a foul smell! I opened the second compartment and saw this squashed I dunno what foodstuff is that in a transparent plastic but it was really stinky ady. Omg. Since I rarely used that second compartment, it must have been there for...ages. :S Actually before this, I took out another food from my bag in a tupperware which is considerably very long ady. 1 month maybe?:/ And that was also seriously smelly. So today, just now I used detergent to wash the bag and handwash it with a brush but the smell is still theree. Hopefully, after drying in the sun, there won't be such smell anymore. So smelly.Eeeks! I know its disgusting but I really didn't realise about that food. :/

Actually, holidays are also coming to an end. Its not like everyone doesn't know that ady. haha. But I have been thinking, school's gonna reopen soon. I've been wondering kiddi-fied stuffs like how my next year's class arrangement will be like, who's going to be my deskmate or deskmates, how my final year of schooling will turn out to be. Those small bits of stuff. :)

And I drafted two posts that I wanted to blog about but after drafting it, don't feel like posting ady. But I feel much better somehow. To sum things up, I never changed but I think I understand things better now.:) And the fact that next year is my last year of school/ pre-U really scares me and at times makes me feel stress just thinking about the prospect of everything. Since the start of hols, I've been feeling a jumbo of this feelings about next year. :/ However, I'll look things at the brighter and positive side! Instead of giving up, I should at least try. Instead of saying I'll never learn from my mistakes, I want to be able to say, I've learnt from them.:)

So adieu! =)

Ola!

When you buy something which you want, really like and also need, paying for it feels really worth it.hees. That happy feeling, embraced. hehee. :)

Yesterday was my momma's b'day.:) A dinner treat at Sushi Bento. It was our first time there but just looking at the menu of those food set makes me feel full already. The pricing.:S En route home, stopped by at Kinta Riverfront to see the light decorations. I really like the one that's hung on those big trees. From afar, it looks like raindrops but in glowing silver and blue.:) There's something enchanting about lights and colours. huhuhu.

If only I'm an inborn artist, things would be much more easier and faster doing those art-related work! haha. While doing mom's card, I discovered how I can't even cut 'heart-shaped' shapes out of paper with nice rounded corners at the top part. Omies. Sad casee. T.T But I think drawing the human anatomy especially the hands and feet is still considered my worse 'enemy'. Haha.

I really don't want holidays to end. Omo.:/ Cos that means I'll have to get many things settled. So many stuffs yet to be done. Those many small lil' tedious stuffs which sums up to taking up a lot of time in the end. AAHS. Most importantly, I wanna reformat my computer.

This holidays, I only finished watching one drama. That one also, didn't watch the last episode yet but considered finish watching la to me. Haha.:) Then there's my second and last drama that I intend to watch for this holidays, Missing You. Quite nicee.:) Wanna continue watching but don't know when to finish those few more episodes. Moreover, the drama's still in the process of 'filming-and-airing'. Aiseh.

Lastly, Happy Winter Solstice aka Tong Yuen Day! :D Instead of eating tong yuen balls, gonna have homemade chicken chop instead to celebrate the occassion. Wkaka. Adieu! :)