I still feel the heavy-heartedness and slight emptiness occasionally throughout the day as my thoughts drifted to my ex-colleagues, their warm happy faces, the good old times and I seem to feel my feet standing on two cross lines as I start my placement at a new company yesterday and resign from my old one just last Friday. Although I’ve long prepared for this, I still can’t help this feeling. This is what it feels like to leave. This is what it feel likes to go on. I keep falling back to the memories at the previous company and compare. I realize that this thinking is only going to hold me back. From tomorrow onwards, I must be adamant enough to see myself push through this thinking and put an end to it. To think forward and stop rewinding only about the past. And to stop comparing as it brings me nowhere.
My plan was to resign a week ago at my previous company before I started off here but my manager asked me to stay (til the very last possible day). She had assigned me to two stock takes on last Thursday and Friday and there was no one else to replace. Of course, despite that one week break I felt I needed (and also because I wanted to head home to help bring up some pamelos and stuffs for my parents’ Sarawak trip), I agreed to her request. More so because almost all my colleagues would be outstation for that entire week, I felt I didn’t really need to be at office. Without them around, it would be lonely to end my last few days there and I wanted to leave with happy memories of my time over there. That one week, without the rest except for my deskmate and two others as well as managers, it turned out be a blessing in disguise. What an eventful week I had that I enjoyed my every day of that final week. On Monday, I was assigned on a last minute 1 day audit with my deskmate and oohh, the director we met there was super cute. Haha. An old guy that was hmm..round sideways and kind. Hehee. Completed 10 stat audits on my own during the middle of the week and then went for two respective stock takes on Thursday and Friday. During that week while I was busy at work til evening, we played a mobile game called “Lang ren sha” (wolf) with all the ‘gamer’ colleagues online til late night. All those on outstation one. Even while I was very sleepy, I forego my sleep and stayed awake just to play that game. Simply, to play with them. At first, I couldn’t play on day 1 since I didn’t know how to read mandarin. On day 2, I told my close bunch of friends (my batch) that I wanted to play too so they all said ok ahh. So all my colleagues who played with me taught me while on the go. One of my close colleague & friend helped me out most. She patiently explained to me which did touched my heart in some ways or rather. It was an exactly similar game to killer and spy which I had a lot of fun. So did the rest. Haha.
Anyways, as for stock take, it was hot in the warehouse on both days. One at Port Klang, the other at Segambut. Generally, stock take is still my favourite. I always find it fun to be on site. Recording or counting, I pretty much like these tasks so far. Plus, the client treated us to a hearty lunch on both days. My tummy was happy and so was I; fully satisfied. The workers at the warehouse during the Friday stock take were also the best to date whom were simply ever ready to help out and friendly. I was happy stock taking with them and utilized my BM to the fullest especially with that 2 workers who I was recording stocks with mostly throughout the day. Feels good to be speaking BM in lengths after such a long time. From them also I found out that we tend to complain about OT, whereas now their company policy has abolished OT for the warehouse staffs and in fact, they actually said it’s not good for them because their base salary itself is not that sufficient to support their household. They look forward to having OT because that’s when they get paid more on top of their base wages. They said based wages tak cukup la and it hit me. Talking to people always gives us a different perspective to reflect about on our perceived opinions.
Now that I think of it, I still feel I needed that one week to really feel the gap of switching to another company. However, I guess there is a trade-off of having an extra week of great memories. Apart from that, on my last week, I really felt thankful that my deskmate was around to accompany me with his lame stuffs and nonsensical jokes. Otherwise, I would have felt “blue-er” indeed.
No matter what, the fond memories of my previous company will always stay close to my heart. The guidance, the laughter and happy sakai colleagues, the times of incompetence I felt once or twice and the guilt that made me want to do better, the mistakes, the improvements, I have never felt so grateful to have this detour in my life. Honestly, back in uni, I thought the best plan in mind was to study full-time and work part time. That was what I wanted and I could not fulfill that plan. Then, dad and mum pushed me to seek for any job first meanwhile I waited for other mid-sized or Big Four firms to reply. I did not regret. The colleagues are the best part of this company and it felt like family, the TFIFS we had, the company benefits that are pretty good, the work environment is to my liking and the helpful seniors that I’ll always remember and thank them for. It was an unforgettable serendipity at PCCO. Thank you.
It’s time to find my new purpose and plan ahead. Scary yet I will take this ride with courage and persevere. Orientation so far has been okay. Definitely, by 5, I felt like dozing off. But I enjoyed listening to the speeches or talks given by the management people. So far of the many of them who presented, I like how they carried themselves. Professional yet humble and motivating. To add on, funny. J
Good night peeps.